Eyes

.. are the best camera in the world. Many reasons to it.

Ping

Ping

(Pinging from the new Windows Live Writer. I used to post blogs from the beta of the program. This desktop app is cool. Gives me webstyle of the blog, i compose in it and post is just a click away. Doesnt hog much memory, doesnt freeze like other windows apps. A nice blogging client. I wish i had something like this for my Kubuntu (or rather, i should write one)).

My life, my mess

I have always wanted to do my masters - and i had always wanted to do it in the US.

I had made a few promises - and i will have to fulfil them. Its just a matter of time.

When am i going to lead that simple, free life, which is devoid of hassle and tension? What is it that makes me make much fuss of my own life, when things can be a lot more orderly and understandable and explainable? What am i trying to prove to the world? What will i ever have to prove the world? This life of mine, which i'm living - i have every damn right to spoil it myself and screw things up as i please. And to set things right and make up for my misdeeds and mistakes whenever i feel like. Its not so far away. I seek no excuses, no chances to explain myself. After all, i should start being arrogant some time.

But 'nuff is not 'nuff until now. I havent finished this course of stupidity i'm going through right now. Looks like they'll have to chuck me out of the course for not even being capable enough to "act stupid". They will soon and without having any other option, i'll have to return to sanity.

P.S.: I wasn't under the influence of alchohol or weed or any other sort of drug when i committed the above words to record. Just that i'm just a bit more brainfucked than usual. Too much of useless cerebral activity - throws me off the hook sometimes - like this.

Comments at my blog!!!

I was surprised to notice that two of my posts have received comments. And the posts which have received the comments are quite old ones - i hadnt noticed the comments until today. Wordpress has this feature of mailing the comments to the blog owner as and when a blog post receives comments. Blogspot doesn't seem to be having it, or i haven't enabled it (yet).

Thank you, Karthik. Thank you, Prasad. Your comments have been well received. :-)

She smiles and...

Tum jo hasti ho, saara mausam, muskuraatha hain,

Kailyan khilthi hain, saara aalam, gungunaatha hain.

Thum jo hasti ho, har sitara, jhilmilaatha hain,

Tere dil ka sheher khushi se jagmagaatha hain.

 

Dekho kabhi, rona nahin, mujh ko rulaao naaa..

Me? Whats me?

I was listening to the song "arabu nade" (film: Thottal Poo Malarum). One of the lines in the song goes like: "Konjam kozhuppu, konjam thimiru, enakkum irukku anbu thozhi". These words set off a chain of thoughts, and hence this post.

If someone is haughty and self-obsessed, will he/she be able to observe this fact about themselves? In other words, is an impartial objective assessment of oneself ever possible? This is one of those questions, amongst others, which have made me think a lot, with no satisfactory answers.

If its indeed possible, whats the validity of the observations? At any given point of time, one is just the sum total of his/her own set of thoughts-ideas-conceptions-emotions. And what appears ok to someone might not seem ok to someone else. And this degree of inclination need to vary just binarily - it should rather be considered a spectrum (its not discrete, but continuous). So, first of all, is absolute objectivity ever possible at all?

Coming back to the theme, one's objective assessment of oneself: I think its possible, because, I think i can see myself objectively. A few things that i do, have done, i know they are stupid/bad/wrong etc. And there is one more important lesson that i've learnt: never to trust myself. Something which appears good to me now, might appear bad tomorrow and vice versa. This has happened not once or twice but numerous times in the past and has led to very grave disconcerts. I'm always wrong.

Work - its smell, sight and sound - part 1

right in front of your eyes.. a pathetic engineer, slogging over the nights in front of his workstation.. writing, correcting, compiling, testing, debugging and fixing code.. thats all that you get to do when you're ill fated to be a kernel developer.. you can either consider this enjoyable, or a curse.. only time will tell what you really think of it, feel about it.. and no one else can, cos, after all, its YOUR mind thats at work n no one else's.. a kernel developer forfeits sleep, food, drinks, pleasures, and at times bathing.. today being one such day.. or rather, tonite.. a kernel dev doesnt give his precious attention to trivial stuff.. (or kernel developers dont smell themselves..) all they smell is code.. and the smell can at times get rotten, and obnoxious - buggy code.. sometimes, you only get to smell that part which has been overcooked/deep-fried/burnt.. coredumps/crashes/asserts.. this was the smell that i was talking about.. but remember, never does the smell ever turn so bad that you ever wanna get out of it.. the smell is kinda intoxicating and addictive.. you'll want more and more and more of it, not realizing its filling you from inside, making you incapable of smelling other smells..

i guess the smell/sight/sound has filled me enough inside so much that i dont feel hungry/thirsty for anything else except occasionally..